I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t consciously thinking about my weight. I’ve always been proud of my body and the life it breathes into me, but I would be lying if I said there weren’t ups and downs in my relationship with body image.
Seeing Amazon Studios’ Brittany Runs a Marathon brought those feelings back up, front and center. Brittany’s story, expertly played by Jillian Bell, is one we’ve all probably experienced before. She visits her doctor and is told she has to lose a lot of weight or face serious health risks.
We all know this is easier said than done. But what really stood out to me in Brittany Runs a Marathon and stopped me in my seat is that one doctor’s visit sparks a series of changes. Changes that I’ve always wanted to implement in my own life and body image but have been too scared or unmotivated too, similar to Jillian Bell’s character.
Three years ago, I bought a membership with the NYC Recreation Center which was waaaay cheaper than joining the gym. I convinced my friend to join with me for better accountability. For awhile, I was super focused and committed to working out every week. I alternated between zumba and spin classes, and did a lot of cardio. For a time, I was really happy with my progress and how dedicated I was to going. It wasn’t even about losing weight, but more about keeping active and giving back to the body that fuels me.
And then, I just stopped. Because life got hard. And I don’t do well with change.
I came back a year later, only to stop again because of a personal situation that I’m still in the midst of. Here’s the thing. Losing weight is never as easy as those rom-coms or Instagram tell you. And when you do lose the weight, your problems aren’t automatically fixed. Those insecurities are still there. The need to hide the emotionally broken parts of yourself doesn’t disappear. The body image hell you go through day in and day out doesn’t suddenly become all sunshine and rainbows.
It takes hard work to heal and grow, both for the physical and the emotional.
Sitting in that theatre, watching my own fitness journey play out before me, was the kick I needed to get my fitness journey back on track. Brittany Runs a Marathon made me realize that I struggle with making bigger goals because I’m afraid I won’t be able to keep them.
So this is my promise to my body and spirit, in writing. I won’t let anything get in the way of my fitness journey. Not even me. My body takes me where I need to go, so I need to do everything I can to treat it with the respect it deserves.
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